No Longer Alone
by EsTeLweNadia
Summary: Rain. Hakkai? Depression. Sanzo? Depression. Gojyo? Clubbing...or something. Goku? Yep. Will he eventually hate the rain too?


**Title**: No Longer Alone

**By**: Rachel Hunter

**Summary**: Rain. Hakkai? Depression. Sanzo? Depression. Gojyo? Clubbing...or something. Goku? Yep. Will he eventually hate the rain too?

**Rating**: Goku-angst. Slight humor. Very, very, very mild hint of romance. Absolutely NO pairing.

**Disclaime**r: The Saiyuki gang isn't mine. They are all Minekura Kazuya's. (I'm so jealous!) But Shinguji Shimara is mine.

**Author's Note**: Not exactly first fic… I have attempted a lot, and I mean, _a lot _of fics but none of them are ever finished… or posted up here. Fine, this is the first fic I posted up here. Also co-authored with **emerald-wind** on the fic "Forgotten Memories". Still in progress, though.

As always, comments and constructive criticism are immensely appreciated.

Go on… read…and enjoy!

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**NO LONGER ALONE **

It was already night and raining by the time Sanzo-ikkou reached the next village. Sanzo was even grumpier than usual, combined with sodden and dripping hair; any noise would surely make him pull the trigger without hesitation. Hakkai was unusually quiet, too quiet for Goku's liking. Even Gojyo did not have the mood to pick a fight with him. Shimara was quiet because everyone was, but whenever Goku opened his mouth to speak, Shimara would look at him, her eyes saying 'Not now, Goku.' Goku closed his mouth and looked away, brushing his wet bangs away from his eyes, silently frustrated and annoyed.

So bored and restless but fully aware that any mischief from him would cost him his life, he behaved quite well, even as they stepped in an inn, he didn't say a word.

"Give us three rooms," Sanzo said quietly, his voice edgy and dangerous, with an obvious hint of repressed anger and annoyance.

"H-hai," The innkeeper stammered. He quickly opened one drawer and retrieved three keys. With a trembling hand, he held out the keys to Sanzo, who immediately snatched them. He tossed two of the keys to Shimara and Gojyo.

"Take these and leave me alone," Sanzo said in a voice that could break no compromise. "Make a noise I swear I'll kill you. I am not in the mood to deal with any of nonsense tonight."

"Ne, Sanzo," Goku started, hesitating. "I…"

Sanzo glared at him, and Goku cringed. "Which part of 'Leave-me-alone' your idiotic monkey brain doesn't understand? If I said to leave me alone, you jolly well do so, unless you want a bullet in your goddamned head!"

Without another word, he whirled around and walked briskly away, leaving Goku staring after the diminishing figure with huge hurt golden eyes. He would have kept on staring if Shimara hadn't put a gentle hand on his shoulder.

"C'mon, Goku, let's go up," she said softly, "the rest are waiting for us upstairs."

Goku blinked. He hadn't realized that Hakkai and Gojyo had made their way to their room. He looked into Shimara's tired sapphire eyes and nodded weakly. Somehow, he knew that this night would be long and…lonely.

When he entered the room, he noticed that Hakkai was sitting by the window and was gazing into the rain. The usual false smile wasn't there. He was too deep in thought to acknowledge Goku's presence.

"Ano, Gojyo, where are you going?" Goku asked when he saw Gojyo was combing his hair and whistling to himself.

"Out," was his curt answer, without turning to look at the bewildered boy.

"Out? Out where?" Goku asked again, not catching. "Are you crazy? It's still raining!"

"It's none of your business, saru," Gojyo snapped. "I won't be back till morning…I think. You can have the bed, but when I get back, that bed is mine!"

Irritated that Gojyo had brushed him off like Sanzo did, Goku said the only thing that came to his mind, "Are you going to get yourself drunk again? And make a fool out of yourself in front of girls?"

"Shut up!" Gojyo snarled. Goku cringed for the second time that night, looking at Gojyo with surprised golden eyes. What's wrong with everyone tonight? Why do they behave this way? "It's none of your goddamned business! While I'm gone, don't you dare disturb Hakkai! He's not in any mood to spoil you."

With that, Gojyo stormed of. Goku stood motionless, not knowing what to do. Suddenly everything seemed so quiet, so dark, so lonely…. Hakkai wasn't even talking to him, and from his posture Goku understood that he didn't want to be disturbed. Feeling utterly abandoned, Goku left the room. He was on the way to Sanzo's room, as he usually did whenever he was feeling lonely, when he stopped halfway, suddenly remembering.

_Sanzo doesn't want me around him_, he thought, sadness and loneliness crashing on him like a wave. _Sanzo is always bad mood during rainy nights…Hakkai too, though sometimes he talks to me but tonight…he didn't talk to me at all. Is the rain that bad? No…am I that annoying? That useless and stupid and troublesome to everyone? Even Gojyo…that ero-kappa doesn't care at all. All he cares are alcohol and girls, and fight with me. No one wants to share what's bothering them. No one wants me to help. I know the rain brings them bad memories –if only I know what- but that doesn't give them any reason not to talk to me at all._

Goku stifled a sob. He felt so alone in the dark corridor; so alone and vulnerable it actually frightened him. He, too, would soon hate the rain, as always… most of the time, even if his friends were around him, his loneliness was worse than his imprisonment in the mountain. Goku shook his head violently, wrenching that thought away. He needed to be in someone's company, anyone's company…before he drowned in his darkest fear. Before he went insane with the silence around him.

Goku raised his hand to knock on the door in front if him, but he lowered it back down and hesitated. _What if Shimara's asleep? What if she becomes angry and throws me out of the room? What if she doesn't want to talk to me?_

He rapped the door softly, wishing for once it was transparent so that he could see through; see what Shimara was doing so that he didn't have to knock. Even better, he wished there were no doors at all; no barriers to keep him away, no barriers to separate him from his friends, from sharing their joy and pain with him. Similarly, he wished that his friends hadn't closed their doors on him, like they did now.

_I'll knock on the door_, Goku thought determinedly, his resolve hardened. _If she's asleep, I'll go back into the room…_

He rapped the door softly, as if he was afraid to hurt the door, but was loud enough for the occupant inside to hear. No answer. Braving himself, he opened the door a tiny crack and peeked in. Shimara was sitting by a desk, her back and long golden eyes facing him. She was obviously working on something but for all Goku knew, she wasn't staring at the rain, and wasn't asleep either. He slipped through the tiny gap, careful not to make a sound. He worked some moisture into his mouth and swallowed hard twice before he could push something resembling words out of his throat.

"Ano, Shimara… are you… busy?" Goku asked, his voice small, timid, but hopeful.

He heard something clattered to the surface of the desk as Shimara did a little startled jump, then tensed when Shimara whirled around in her seat to face her uninvited visitor – him.

"Goku?" She said, her voice betraying how surprised she was to see Goku inside her room, fidgeting slightly on his feet. "What are you doing here, at this time of night? You supposed to be asleep now."

Goku heaved a quiet sigh. He was relieved that Shimara wasn't busy, wasn't angry and wasn't going to kick him out. He wasn't going to be alone tonight.

"Can't sleep," he replied softly. It wasn't a lie. He really couldn't sleep, even if he tried to, not when the loneliness mocked at him from every angle.

Shimara studied him carefully. Her surprise had given way to unmistakable concern, and her voice was gentle when she asked, "Why not?"

Sadness overwhelmed him again, so suddenly tears clouded his vision. He blinked them back, fighting to rein his tears in. He didn't want Shimara to think he was weak.

"Sanzo and Hakkai didn't want me to disturb them," He answered, his voice choked with unseen tears. "They didn't want to talk to me. They didn't even want me to talk to them. Gojyo…" He swallowed, his sorrow suddenly replaced by a surge of anger, "he went out. He rather drink himself silly than accompany me," As quickly as the anger came, it abruptly faded away, but the sorrow remained. He couldn't keep the tears from streaming down his cheeks. He closed his eyes. "Maybe they are right. Maybe I am useless, troublesome, and stupid, and always in everyone's way. Maybe I am just a stupid brainless saru after all…"

He was pleasantly surprised when a gentle finger brushed his tears away. With his eyes closed and deep in his sorrow, he didn't hear Shimara approaching him. Now that he had his eyes opened, he saw Shimara kneeling in front of him, her sapphire eyes reflecting genuine concern and sisterly love.

"Gomen," he muttered, ashamed as he hastily wiped his tears away. Shimara gripped his small shoulders gently.

"Oh, no, don't be," she said softly. "And don't ever say that. You are not useless or stupid. You are not in anyone's way. You are not a monkey, let alone brainless. You know that, don't you?"

Goku looked forlorn. "Yeah…I know that but… Sanzo and Gojyo keep saying that I am…"

Shimara offered a patient smile, and that smile looked so much like Hakkai's Goku wondered if he had that kind of smile too. "Oh, Goku, they do say that but they don't mean it. They are just saying for the fun of it. It might not seem like it, but trust me, they say it without any hatred or anger, so you are not at all what they are saying. And what's more important, you have to believe in yourself."

Goku nodded slowly, but there was a new uncertainty in the golden orbs it made Shimara frown. "What's wrong?"

"Sanzo…he is always angry with me…" Goku replied, sniffling.

Stifling an amused chuckle, she closed the door and guided Goku to her untouched bed. "And what about it?"

"I think he hates me," Goku murmured, this time his sorrow was so thick Shimara could almost taste it. "He always yells at me, scolds me, hit my head with his harisen, shoots at me, didn't want me to talk to him during nights like this…"

Shimara silenced him with a gentle finger on his lips. "Shh… don't say that, Goku. I can promise you with my all heart that Sanzo doesn't hate you, even if he appears to. I believe he thought by doing that he won't be attached to anyone. And also he thought by doing that he wants you to hate him. But I daresay his method is not working, because you will never hate him, am I right, Goku?"

Goku managed a small smile. "I will never hate him… even though he is such a big jerk sometimes…"

Shimara rolled her eyes at that. "Sometimes? To me, he is a jerk all the time. Seriously, I've never seen anyone so short-tempered, so rude, so lazy and so pain-in-the-ass. He's the first."

"Well," Goku said, his usual light cheer returning to his voice. "He wouldn't be Sanzo if he isn't like that." Thinking of Sanzo being the exact opposite of his character now made Goku shudder slightly. "I prefer Sanzo as who he is now. But I guess it wouldn't hurt him to be a little bit nice sometimes…"

Shimara giggled. "Yeah, you are right."

"But why…" Goku started to say, the cheer slipping out of his voice and he was hesitating again, "why Sanzo and Hakkai are like these during rainy nights? You know why, don't you?"

Shimara wanted to crumble from those silently pleading golden eyes, but she held herself firm. As much as she wanted to grant Goku his wish, she couldn't. "Yes, I do know why, Goku but I couldn't tell you even if I want to…because I respect their privacy, and they trust me not to. And they probably didn't want you to know because they don't want to drag you in their despair."

"At least that's better than being alone," Goku said softly.

Shimara gripped Goku's shoulders again. "Being alone is not necessary a bad thing, Goku. Sometimes, some people just need to be alone, for a moment, because they need some peace to sort things out. And then when they have settled whatever they need to, they will talk to you again."

"But…"

"Shh, shut up and listen to me. You have been alone for a very, very, very long time, and to you loneliness is a terrifying nightmare. I understand, Goku, for I've been alone all these years after my parent's death, before I had found the courage to join this group. Hence to me, being alone is no big deal. But that's an entirely different case with you. Don't worry, Goku… at times when anyone wishes to be alone, let them be. They won't be alone like that for too long. Besides, they are still with you, aren't they? That means you are not entirely alone, because as long as you keep them in your heart, you are not alone…never alone."

Goku abruptly looked up, enthralled by the words Shimara had uttered to him. He smiled, and Shimara was amazed by how such a simple smile could light up one's eyes. And it definitely lit Goku's golden orbs; they glowed radiantly with a warmth that rivaled the sun's. Goku was much better off smiling and laughing. They suit him more.

"Thank you, Shimara," Goku said earnestly, and he meant it. "It's –" His sentence was broken off by a yawn, which instantly reminded him how tired and sleepy he was.

"Go to sleep, Goku," Shimara ordered him gently. " It's already past bedtime."

Goku nodded sleepily, then clambered up to the bed. He was asleep even before his head landed on the pillow. Seconds later he was snoring.

For a moment Shimara stared at him, amused. As she watched the chest rose and fall with each snore, her heart swelled with pride and love for the boy. Abruptly her features darkened, remembering how Goku looked so depressed earlier on, and the reason why.

_They have gone too far_, she thought, anger shimmering underneath her calm exterior. _It's time to teach them a lesson, and I'll make sure they learn it well_.

Without wanting it, sleepiness pulled and weighed her eyelids down, and she yawned.

_Tomorrow_, she promised herself as she climbed into the bed beside Goku. _They gonna get it from me_. As soon as she slid underneath the comforters, Goku immediately nestled himself against her chest, murmuring contentedly. Smiling amusedly in response, Shimara wrapped her arms around the boy, hugging him closer.

Before she was washed into the sea of dreams, her final thought was, They _gonna get it from me, tomorrow, the first thing in the morning. It's a promise._

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When Gojyo returned from wherever he had gone to, completely sober, he expected Goku to sprawl on the bed, snoring loudly and totally oblivious to the world, but no, he was surprised to see the bed's untouched, and there was no signs of the bakasaru either.

"Yo, Hakkai, where's the bakasaru?" He asked, sinking wearily into the bed. God, his feet ached like hell.

At the sound of his voice, Hakkai seemed to be stirring from whatever stupor he was in. He slowly to turn to look at Gojyo, his emerald eyes still glazed from the agony of his past.

"Huh?"

Gojyo shot Hakkai an irritated look. "I said, where is the bakasaru?"

There was a brief silence, then Hakkai's eyes cleared as realization began to dawn on him. "Oh, Goku… he was here a moment ago…"

"Be specific, Hakkai," Gojyo said wearily. "When is 'a moment ago'?"

"Since you left," Hakkai answered, uneasiness churning in his gut.

"Then where is he now? We'll be in deep shit if that bakasaru's missing."

Hakkai looked chagrined. "I don't know… I honestly don't know."

Gojyo's crimson eyes widened in disbelief. "Whaddaya mean, you don't know? You are here all this while!"

The chagrined look in Hakkai's face gave way to helplessness. "I know but…"

Suddenly Gojyo understood. "Oh, now I get it…you sat there, gazing out of the window, taking long walks down Memory Lane and forget all about him?"

Hakkai nodded miserably. To his horror he realized he hadn't talk to Goku at all, and feeling lonely because no one talked to him, Goku must have gone out.

"_Fantastic_," Gojyo commented, that single word literally dripping with sarcasm as he got up from the bed.  
Whatever, let's go find that idiot."

Hakkai stood up as well, his features marred with slight guilt, the rain pouring outside completely forgotten. "Could it be that he's in Sanzo's room? He always goes there whenever he's feeling lonely."

Gojyo chuckled dryly. "You are not paying attention, aren't you? Sanzo already made it clear that he wants to be left alone or else. So if that bakasaru goes in his room, that monkey is probably dead right now. Or close to."

Hakkai allowed himself a small smile. "So let's check Shimara's room then. If he's still isn't there, we'll search for him outside."

"We might as well," Gojyo muttered gruffly, heading out to the next room. He was about to knock on the door when he heard a familiar snore. His fist stiffened just before the door.

_It can't be!_ Gojyo thought wildly, his heart racing with panic. _It can't be! Goku can't be sleeping with her!_

"Gojyo?" Hakkai prodded, concerned at the sudden change of his attitude.

Ignoring Hakkai, Gojyo twisted the doorknob and pushed the door open, just enough for him to see what's inside. Everything inside shriveled up and died

"Gojyo? What happened?" Hakkai asked, annoyed.

Gojyo simply backed away and Hakkai came around to see what's inside that made Gojyo so speechless. Nothing unusual, except for Goku who was sleeping soundly in Shimara's protective embrace. Hakkai began to chuckle as soon as he realized why Gojyo was acting so weird.

"Take it easy," Hakkai said, smiling as he gently closed the door. "They are still fully-clothed, you see. Goku's too young to do what you think he would be doing, and Shimara's not as dirty-minded as you. Anyway, we all know that she treats Goku like her younger brother. There's still a chance for you to win her over."

For a moment, Gojyo said nothing, then he inhaled deeply, and with that, the usual spark was returning to the crimson eyes. Hakkai smiled in relief and amusement.

"Let's get back in," Hakkai suggested. "It's already late. Sanzo did say we are going off the first thing in the morning, did he not?"

Gojyo nodded. "Yeah, but there's a slight problem."

Hakkai arched a questioning eyebrow. "What is it?"

"There's only one bed," Gojyo replied with a mischievous wink. "We got only one choice; share the bed or not sleep on the bed at all."

Hakkai laughed. "Don't you worry, you ero-kappa! There's already an extra mattress, pillow and blanket provided. Since you are so dirty-minded, you sleep on the floor."

"Why me?" Gojyo protested defensively. "You can't blame me for being so dirty-minded! It's my nature. And you are the one who supposed to sleep on the floor. If you hadn't been daydreaming, I wouldn't have wasted my sleeping hours looking for that bakasaru!"

"Hey," Hakkai argued. "You wasted your hours in the bar for nothing, and it's only a couple of minutes looking for Goku. At least he is safe and sound, just next door!"

"Yeah," Gojyo muttered grumpily. "With the woman of my dreams."

Hakkai rolled his eyes. "There you go again. That's it. I'm sleeping on the bed, since I had a fair share of the floor recently. So you take the floor from now on. Enough said. End of conversation. Full stop."

Gojyo stared at Hakkai as he walked into their room. "Hey," Gojyo half-shouted. "That's so not fair! Everybody get to sleep on the bed while and I have to sleep on the floor!"

No response. Gojyo entered the room nonetheless; glaring at the brunette curling comfortably on the only bed. He smoothed out the mattress, threw down the pillow and then sank into it.

"You gonna get it, Hakkai," Gojyo warned, before surrendering to fatigue and sleep.

Little did they know that they gonna get it the very first thing in the morning, before they set out to resume their journey.

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When Gojyo, Hakkai and Sanzo descended the stairs the next morning, they were a little surprised to see Shimara sitting at a table reading a newspaper with a cup of steaming hot coffee by her side. She must be up really early; her golden hair smoothly combed, and the entire inn lobby was wafted with the fragrance of her herbal shampoo.

"Ohayo, Shimara," Gojyo greeted her brightly.

Shimara did not look up from the newspaper, nor did she put the paper down or jump up to greet her friend like she usually did. When she replied, her voice was strangely cold and hostile. "Ohayo."

Hakkai frowned at her tone. "Is something wrong?"

In reply Shimara slammed her newspaper down so had her cup of coffee rattled precariously. She stood up and glared at her male companions. "Yes, there's something terribly wrong! I know it's early in the morning and you guys had just taken a refreshing shower, but you guys have gone too far!"

Gojyo stared at her, not comprehending. "Whaddaya mean?"

"Don't play dumb!" She spat, but kept her voice low. It was still early in the morning, and she was aware of that. "The three of you are lost in your own worlds and abandon Goku!"

Sanzo snorted derisively. "Tsk! Just because of that kid alone you get all riled up like this?"

Pure, feral anger flashed in her now blazing sapphire orbs. "It's not as simple as you think. Do you know that you left the poor kid alone in the dark and loneliness, in the very things that he fears and hates most? Do you know that he looked for me to confide in? It's not like I mind it, but he's not as close to me as he is with you guys. Tell me, to whom he confides in when he's afraid, when I'm not around yet? Yes, it's you people! So why now you selfishly, mercilessly abandoned him?"

This time, Sanzo's amethyst eyes flashed, his rage matching Shimara's. "We got our own problems to deal with, and that bakasaru can take care of himself!"

Shimara's temper flared. "Oh, you think? Hear me out, Genjo Sanzo. No matter what, no matter how old he is, that kid is still a kid. He deserves company and he deserves attention, because he hasn't has either for 500 years. Problems? What a huge bunch of nonsense!" She paused, and sneered. "Oh, wait, I'm wrong… you, mean, you still haven't get over your past yet, have you?"

"You… you don't understand!" Hakkai, who was usually unflappable, blurted out. Shimara's words had struck a chord, and he certainly felt guilty and irked of being accused like that.

"I don't?" Shimara snapped, her tone humorless, mocking and venomous. "Are you implying that I don't have an equally dark and tragic past to brood over and reminiscing about? I do, and you know it. But unlike you, I learn to let go! There's no point regretting on what you have or haven't done because no matter how much you wish to, you can never reverse the time and prevent the tragedies from happening!"

"We know that!" Hakkai protested defensively. "But it's difficult for us to let go as easily as you can!"

"Then that's your goddamned problem!" Shimara snarled. "It's up to you whether you want to kill yourself by drowning in your past. It's up to you not to let go and start life anew, but not to the extent till it affects others, alright?"

"But…" Gojyo started but Shimara overrode his attempts to speak.

"And you, Sha Gojyo, are not spared from this," the woman growled, glaring at the redhead with such fury in her eyes Gojyo flinched invisibly. "Do you know that Goku prefers to quarrel with you than being alone? Fancy going out and leaving Goku alone when you have absolutely nothing to fret about during rainy nights!"

She inhaled deeply, mentally calmed her rankled nerves before continuing again. This time, her voice was softer, gentler, but the anger was still evident in her voice, though not as strong as it was earlier on. "Now listen here, all of you, and listen good. I know you know this, but I just want to remind you. The past is not there for you to dwell on. The past is not there for you to regret. The past is there for you to realize not to repeat the same mistakes. It is the past who makes you who you are now. You do realize, do you, that you can't change the past no matter how much you want to? Whatever happened back there happened for a reason, and that reason brought us together. Surely Koumyo Sanzo doesn't want Sanzo to waste his time thinking about his death when he supposed to use that time to search for the Seiten Sutra, and neither does Kannan wants Hakkai to kill himself thinking about her when he supposed to move on."

An uncomfortable silence. They couldn't deny what Shimara had just said.

"The rain…" Shimara said quietly, "…is not really a bad thing. It doesn't always mean, or bring, bad memories. Sometimes it does, that I can't deny, but other times it helps wash our pains away. As for me I enjoy the rain. I love to feel the cool raindrops on my face and skin, but I am also aware that too much of it brings fever. Just like the past. It's good to reflect on it, to think about it a little. It doesn't mean you have to immerse yourself so deeply in it and wishing so fervently you can change it when you know jolly well you can't. You can be insane."

Shimara raised her eyes to face them, all of her anger gone now. "So do me a favor. Next time when it rains, don't withdraw into yourself. Talk to someone; to Goku, to distract yourself from the pull of your past. It's okay if you don't want to talk about your past to him, but he needs your company. Do you hear me?"

"Yes," came the strained answer, and Sanzo's, "Whatever."

There was another silence; this one uncomfortable a bit. Shimara snorted and reached for her coffee, which had turned lukewarm now. She dribbled the sweet, sweet liquid down her now parched throat. All the talking had made her thirsty.

"Ohayo gozaimasu everyone!" A loud, overly familiar and eternally cheerful voice broke the stillness, followed by an energetic bounding of footsteps, and soon Goku appeared in their view. As usual a huge, thousand-watt grin plastered on the boy's face and the golden orbs lit up with the excitement on the beginning of yet another new day.

Hakkai smiled. "You are up early, Goku. Got a good night sleep last night?"

Goku's head bopped up and down. "Yeah. The best night's sleep I ever had in days! I actually want to sleep a little bit longer but I'm very hungry already."

Gojyo slammed down a fist on Goku's head; his way of greeting. " Is your world only revolves around food, monkey?"

Goku retaliated with an elbow on Gojyo's ribs. "Speak for yourself, you horny cockroach! Yours only revolves around alcohol and girls, and that's so disgusting!"

"Disgusting you say?" Gojyo repeated in disbelief. "It's great! Have you ever heard of 'We eat to live, not live to eat'? I think you live only to eat! And that's very disgusting!"

"It's not!"

"It is."

"It's not!"

"It is."

Hakkai could only chuckle nervously as the tic on Sanzo's face got bigger as the fight continued, followed by many others to accompany it, then –

TWHACK! WHACK!

"Will you two _stuff it_ already? The only thing you bellyachers deserve to eat is my _wrath_!"

Goku held his head in pain, his huge golden eyes staring up into scowling amethysts pitifully, while Gojyo rubbed the growing bump on his head as he glared at Sanzo. Before he could protest, Sanzo said, _sotto voce_, "Another word, you eat nothing."

Both of them shut up, and breakfast was finally served. Fighting over food continued, only to silence when Sanzo shot them a warning glare. Shimara just cracked a huge grin, stifling a laughter that threatened to bubble from her throat.

"Um…excuse me?"

Abruptly all of them looked up. A young woman stood a feet away from them, wringing the hem of her skirt with her hands. She was obviously nervous, but determined.

Hakkai offered a friendly smile. "Yes?"

She calmed somewhat at Hakkai's smile. "Are you the legendary Sanzo-ikkou?"

Sanzo muttered something rude underneath his breath. It was Gojyo who answered, "That's right."

The woman brightened up slightly. "Please, kind sirs, we need your help. There's –"

Sanzo stood up. "If you want us to exterminate some youkai pests, be my guest. We have no time to be sidetracked again. We wasted enough in the last village."

The woman looked shocked at first, then horrified. "But-"

This time, Shimara stood up. "It's okay, I'll stay behind and help." She looked at the startled Sanzo-ikkou. "You guys set off first. I'll meet you in the next village. And if I happen to be late, just set off without me. I will catch up with you sooner or later, as I always do."

They stared at her a little while longer, then nodded. It was always like this. Whenever they couldn't do a side mission, Shimara would be the one who stay behind to do it, and they would move on.

As the Sanzo-ikkou exited the inn, Shimara turned her attention back to the woman. "How can I be of help?"

They didn't miss the relief that flooded the woman's features, making her look considerably younger, and prettier. "We believe there's a youkai fortress in the forest beyond the village borders. Youkais have been haunting the forest and make hunting for food dangerous and difficult. Other times they are bold enough to make an appearance in our village, killing or abducting some of us. We used to think they are isolated cases but as time goes by they proved to be well-organized and deliberate. They are getting bolder; terrorizing us when they feel like it. Streets aren't safe anymore, even kids are afraid to play outside."

Anticipation and dark anger gleamed in Shimara's sapphire eyes. A thin smile touched her lips as her brain worked out plans to eliminate the threat. "Consider it done."

At the last instant Gojyo turned back, snagged Shimara's arm and spun her around. Shimara barely had time to react when Gojyo pressed his lips against hers. Startled, Shimara stood frozen for awhile, before leaning into the kiss, just briefly before pushing the redhead back.

"What was that for?" She hissed, her cheeks reddening just a little.

Beside her, the woman blushed furiously.

Gojyo winked. "That's for sleeping with the saru. I thought of doing more than just a kiss, but I hate the rebuking I get afterwards."

Before Shimara could do anything, Gojyo bounded off to his companions, laughing with glee at his victory of stealing a kiss from the 'woman of his dreams'. Shimara stared after him for a moment, then broke out laughing herself. As the jeep drove away, she waved them goodbye.

"Think she's gonna be alright?" Gojyo asked, craning his head around to watch the rapidly diminishing Shimara. "Taking down a youkai fortress alone?"

"She's going to be fine," Hakkai replied, glancing at the rearview mirror. "Don't worry."

A rare silence descended on the jeep, each alone with their thoughts. As the jeep drove on, miles after miles after miles, Goku leaned his head back to watch the beautiful blue sky, decorated with white fluffy clouds and an occasional flock of birds.

"Beautiful, isn't it?" Gojyo asked, tilting his head back to join Goku in the sky-gazing. "Like Shimara's eyes…"

They just kept on gazing and gazing, till the sky blurred out and images of Shimara filled their mind's eye. Her smiling, her laughing, her fighting, her crying, her frowning… without realizing it a small smile crept onto Gojyo's face. During that time, only Shimara existed in his world, and his eyes.

An icy drop of water startled him awake. He snapped his eyes open, only to see more water droplets falling towards his face, fast, from the already dark and grey sky.

He barely had time to mutter "Holy shit!" when the rain bear upon him with vengeance. He was soaking wet in a matter of minutes, and beside him, Goku was frantically yelling, "It's raining! It's raining! Hakkai, we've got to hurry! We've got to hurry! Hakkai!"

"Hai! Hai!" Hakkai replied, stifling an amused chuckle. "Hakuryuu, I'm sorry, but we really have to hurry. Please bear with it, alright?"

With an understanding '_kyuu_' the vehicle leapt forward, heading towards the nearing civilization with all speed it could provide.

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It was raining again. Hakkai told them the monsoon season had started, and they had to expect lots of rains as heavy as this one for the next few days. Gojyo then innocently added "Yeah, and expect lots of depression from a certain green-eyed brunette and a certain trigger-happy blondie. Steer clear of their path, if you don't want to get –"

TWHACK!

Sanzo put back his paper fan without batting an eye, leaving Gojyo clutching at his head, but the redhead finished his sentence anyway. "—whacked by the famous harisen owned by the blondie who doesn't know how to take joke or loosen up." A pause, and a chuckle. "Geez."

When Sanzo brandished his fan again, Gojyo scooted behind Hakkai, who just plainly said, "Leave me out of this."

Meanwhile, Goku was on the floor, rolling with laughter. Sanzo hit the unruly head of crimson-tinted brown hair with the fan instead. The laughter immediately stopped, and the boy sat up, clutching at his head and staring at Sanzo indignantly. "What was that for?"

"For thinking that the whole thing is funny," The monk replied coolly.

"But Sanzo," Goku complained. "It is funny!"

Muttering something about he being surrounded by idiots, he turned around and stalked off.

"Well, a person said that only because he's an idiot too," Gojyo called out, unable to resist himself.

And in reply a bullet thudded itself in the wall inches from Gojyo's ear, and a few of the crimson hair swayed down to the floor. Gojyo's facial expression was so comical Goku and Hakkai broke down laughing. The redhead stood stock still for a moment, blinking before he, too, started laughing, joining the bouts of hysterical laughter. Sanzo's mouth twitched, and he almost, almost smiled himself, but he turned and walked away.

He paused at the door. Without turning back, he threw the words. "Keep laughing, if you want to starve."

A very apt command; it gave him the desired response. Immediately the three stopped laughing. Shooting each other meaningful glances, they clambered to their feet and rushed after Sanzo. Well, at least, Goku and Gojyo did. Hakkai just shook his head and followed after them, with Hakuryuu hovering by his side.

It seemed that they had a feast that night. Goku, as usual, ordered every dish in the menu, then seconds, thirds, and even desserts. It was nothing new for the Sanzo-ikkou, but other people in the restaurant stopped and gaped as Goku wolfed the food down without a pause. The food was delicious, after all. Even the Sanzo-ikkou found themselves eating more than they usually did.

The first thing Goku did when reaching their room was to collapse on the huge bed. He began snoring almost immediately. Because it was still raining, and since Goku was asleep, Hakkai and Sanzo once again felt the pull of their past but they managed to shrug it off and went for their bed. Exhausted from a day's journey and their appetite was sated a little too well, they fell asleep almost instantly, and dreamt about a certain kid with huge golden eyes and much longer hair frolicking in the fields of flowers near a pond of lilies, basking in the warmth of the afternoon sun, his laughter filling the atmosphere and the depths of their souls.

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The rain still hadn't let up the next morning. Instead it just fell harder, becoming colder and more depressing. They decided to stay in for another night, because the rain was simply too heavy for them to continue their journey. And Shimara hadn't turned up yet.

Unlike last night, everyone's spirit was at their lowest now. Sanzo had locked up in his room after sending a very clear signal that he was not to be disturbed, or else. Hakkai, too, became very quiet and preoccupied. Goku knew these were the signs that they wanted to be left alone, and unlike last night, and the nights before that, Goku let them be that way. He retreated downstairs and proceeded to watch the fire blazing and dancing in the fireplace.

He was so engrossed in watching the beautiful flames he didn't realize someone snuck up from behind him, until he was shoved headfirst into the fire. Startled, he spread out both arms and caught hold of the sides of the fireplace, stopping himself just inches from the fire. Enraged, he spun around.

"What the hell did you do that for, you perverted cockroach?" Goku yelled at the nonchalant redhead, who was grinning broadly. "I nearly get burnt!"

"Serves you right," Gojyo replied with a smirk. "Lucky it was me. What if it was some youkai who try to push you in the fire?"

"I would have sensed him before he did that," Goku shot back, returning to his seat and glared at Gojyo.

"Really?" Gojyo challenged. "You didn't hear me snuck up on you."

Goku paused, knowing that the kappa was right, but he huffed anyway. "Still, there's no need for you to do that. What if I couldn't stop myself in time?"

Gojyo shrugged as he settled down on the armchair opposite Goku. "There's nothing to worry about. You got inhuman reflexes, and I know you wouldn't get yourself burnt."

Something in Gojyo's voice made Goku stop from retorting. He looked up at Gojyo questioningly, but the redhead just snorted and reached for his cigarettes.

Silence hung between them. Something was definitely amiss, but Goku couldn't quite put his finger to. _What is it? What is it?_ During rainy nights, both Sanzo and Hakkai were in a bad mood, and Gojyo would…_Ah, that's it!_ Goku cocked his head. "Oy, Gojyo, I thought you are going out tonight…to a club or something…"

Gojyo raised his head to look at Goku. He snorted for the second time that night before answering. "I was going to, but just look at the rain."

Goku did, and realized that the rain had gotten a lot more heavier than it was in the day. The winds howled, and Goku shuddered. The sound was frightening; it reminded him of a dying youkai moaning in agony. A jagged streak of lightning suddenly illuminated the dark sky, and Goku shrank back in fear. It should have been beautiful, if not for the deafening clap of thunder that accompanied it. Man, he didn't know rain could be so scary sometimes. He turned his head away from the window as quickly as he could, and tried his best to deafen his ears against the angry rumbling of thunder.

Without thinking, Goku shifted his position so that he was lying on the couch. He felt so sleepy, so tired he didn't think he had any energy to walk back to their room. He heard Gojyo said something to him, but he didn't understand a word, except for 'saru', and then minutes later something soft and warm was draped over him. A blanket. _Arigato, Gojyo,_ he wanted to say, but his mouth wouldn't move and his eyelids drooped close, his entire body became relaxed as he slowly floated towards oblivion.

_Shimara is right_, Goku thought sleepily, I _will not be alone, so long if I keep my friends in my heart._ _And that's great…because now I'm no longer alone…never alone..._

_Never…_

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End file.
